And soooo... We decided to go along with our close church friends' plan to hold a simple anniversary lunch. It was originally just that: a catered lunch. We are people who'd rather stay in the background. And attention is a bit awkward. But then, they went the extra mile, prepared a program and some surprises. Haha! What a bonus! So, two weeks after our anniversary trip in Spain with our son and our couple trip in Switzerland, we styled the house a bit and arranged for a lunch feast.
During the program, we were asked about the secret to a lasting marriage. I still think marriages are not created equally. We have varying stories and journeys.
So as a silver anniversary celebrant, I can legitimately say there is no specific formula or secret. That is due to the uniqueness of a marriage, much like the two people in it.
My husband and I both agree that finding the person whom you will amuse and annoy for the rest of your life requires one very important characteristic. That is being God-fearing. I say "God-fearing" because it does not mean a perfectly pure person, but one who is godly and puts Him first in everything. Even before the spouse.
It is not about someone religious. It is someone who has such reverence for the Lord that desiring a person other than the spouse is a crazy idea. Someone afraid to bite at the temptation and quickly realizes the devastating outcome if it happens.
That temptation not only means the lust of the flesh, but it also refers to other potential sins such as gambling, workaholism, materialism, overspending, other vices, and things that will surely start the cracks in marriages.
Every time a single lady asks me what they should look for in a man, I always recommend getting their antennae up for a God-fearing guy. This goes the same for guys. Marry a woman who loves and fears the Lord so you are on the same page.
The journey to complete our 25 years was a full circle of various unpleasant situations, significant decisions, challenges, and even toxic people. Same as in any marriage. But the important thing is forgiveness, patience, kindness, not holding grudges, and all the other things from I Corinthians 13. I am so blessed to find a husband who embodies many of them. Particularly highlighting the "patience" and "kindness" parts. I never thought someone could put up with all my idiosyncrasies.
Anyway, it was a fun and memorable party, indeed! If we were in the Philippines, we could have celebrated it with our old friends and family. Especially those who were with us and witnessed our early struggles as a very young couple (well, in our early 20s).
Since our old circle is in the motherland and some live on other continents, we are just so blessed to have a community that embraces us and celebrates this momentous milestone. As I said in an earlier reel, "this is church." Try to find your trustworthy people with whom you can share life if you have not found them.
Funny though, as my husband and I reflected, we realized we were doing well while in the Philippines. We did not have to leave the country to earn more or climb the ladder. The thing is, if God calls you from one place to another, you have to follow. Honestly, it was a desire to live abroad, on my part. It was for simple reasons: a change of scenery, our love for travel, and for our son to finish schooling abroad while living with us.
Then God presented an opportunity for my husband to work and live abroad with us for the first time. It was an easier way than what we originally planned. So we did the uprooting with lots of prayers and even crying on my end.
After 5 years, we were called to move here to the Netherlands. That was the second time. We did it in obedience, not really knowing what awaited us. At first, it was surreal. It was not Southeast Asia anymore. But God, as always, is faithful. Faithful in providing, enabling, equipping, and surrounding us with friends who became our families abroad. It was not our comfort zone. No house help, no mom to call; we only have one car; a rental house that is nice but expensive; everything is exorbitant; food is good but not as tasty; an elusive job similar to my previous career, and a language that is hard to learn!
I am telling all this because those were the years leading up to our 25th anniversary. And man, those were not only happy-sad years. They were revelation years!!! Revelation of who God is and what He can do mightily beyond what we imagine or pray for.
So there. This is a bit of a testimony. As I wrote this, I was hoping that anyone who is fighting for his/her marriage, looking for a spouse, enjoying single blessedness, about to marry, or is happily married, just hold on. Be prayerful and faithful. Be content and obedient. Seek God above all. You will be amazed at how much you can hold on and how God sustained or delivered you through it all.
