28 March 2010/10:40 pm
Song: “Sometimes a Love Goes Wrong” (96.3 Easy Rock)
One early Sunday evening, I found myself reading my past journals from my senior year in high school until college. They came in handy during this time of lack of things to do. It’s much better than being my usual couch potato self. It’s the start of the Holy Week break, anyway.
Interestingly, what I wrote back then was entertaining. Background music accompanied my browsing. It is an old habit that could not die and a demonstration of my deep affection for radio. The anecdotes were like those of a TV series, mostly sitcoms! Never mind the grammar blunders. I was not the chief of the grammar police yet. (Speaking of love for radio, if I had a choice, I would be willing to go back moonlighting to the industry that I love. It was also the first media office that I got accepted into after graduating from the university.)
While reading, the big smiles of a teenage girl came back to life as I recalled specific remarks of people, the stuff they did, and my reactions to situations. This brought back the fact that many people were part of my loop. In one way or another, they shared a portion of their life with someone like me. Love was also inching its way, alternately followed by a cornucopia of youthful emotions of sadness, regret, anger, jealousy, competition, happiness, filial love, and the profound newfound spirituality. Looking back, life was superbly crisp and colorful. Like the ones in high-definition TVs that effectively captured the moments in their actual, strange yet exciting madness.
It dawned on me again that people, like time, are also fleeting. Even the words we say are also easy to utter and easy to forget. The intensity of how they were said is also easily gone in a wink.
This deep pang of guilt hit me as I realized that I lost a bunch of old handwritten mails from precious friends. Those notes served as witnesses to that time when nothing compared to the old reliable method of hand-carried notes or snail mail. Greeting cards were not electronic but “cute” in their various avant-garde styles of art. The notes also carried many revelations as to who I was and I how handled matters that were, that time, special to me. It is so sad they are currently missing.
My teenage life was not perfect as many of us. But I love the imperfection because God manifested His power and moved me in many ways to my amazement up to now. I told my son that he should look forward to his teenage life. For sure, it will be exciting and colorful as mine. Or maybe even more, with the Lord to guide him.
In the meantime, I'm loving the life God has given me. It may not be the one that I’ve been wishing for. But I know that His ways and plans are always much more grandiose than mine. I am excited about the future because of this.
Signing off for now.
Song: “Cross my Heart” – Everything But the Girl (96.3 Easy Rock)
11:53 pm
